Breathereality

inseperable love

2011-02-08T00:39:00.001+08:00

Happy 20th boyfriend! & we're officially a year too! Love you b♥
I'll blog pictures soon, when i feel like it.

Shield

2011-02-02T04:22:00.003+08:00

You've got to understand different families operate differently. Different values, different teachings e.t.c and respect is certainly the most basic value that runs into how my parents bring me up, though I am not rly respectful..

God puts me through this because he knows I can get through this. Breathe jasmine, breathe.

Need to wake up in 3hrs for sch, I am dead tired, worn out and not in the mood for it.

Chinatown

2011-01-31T03:22:00.004+08:00

The past week's really hectic, with me juggling with school and helping mom out with the preparation for chinese new year. Oh did i mention that ahma is back home from the hosp so yay! Boyf and i visited chinatown last saturday i think(?) it was packed like sardines. I could feel people squashing my fats out of me. In any case, i love chinatown, esp nearing cny. The festive mood that fills the air (albiet the body odours), makes the trip down, tolerating the crowd and the rip off prices all worthwhile.

Assignment

2011-01-27T21:59:00.002+08:00

Have you guys checked out Ion's basement yet? Its so damn awesome they dedicated part of basement 3 (i think) to China! And there's a statue of Mao, pushcarts selling souvenirs and what not! they had Mao's little red book, the green bag, the hat and posters! Just like the one above. If not for the rush and me being half broke that day i would have gotten them! Will go back once i get all my angpow money heh heh.

Anyway school's taking a toll on me. I feel so left behind cause almost everyone in the module found a book for their book review, with me being one of the exceptions, still clueless about my focus. And yes, as usual, all the books in school are either on loan or reserved. Fml. I resorted to reserving my book from nlb, i pray hard it gets to me in time! Can you imagine? Our paper's due in march and everyone is in this frantic rush trying to get their hands on a book. This is NUS for you.

Most prolly gonna spend my cny doing up my papers and uhm, studying for my test. Sigh.

Peace comes from the heart

2011-01-27T01:57:00.003+08:00

Remember my previous post about go getters? Friends who know me well enough always say "Ahya to you everyone is nice". True to a certain extent, but it is just so difficult for me to not see the good in people, however bad they are, i always believe that there's a good side to people somewhere deep down.. Maybe because of such mentality i tend to read people wrongly, most of the time. Not until i get a stab in the heart then i'll come to think, why am i so foolish to not trust the words of others, but trust what i see? Sight, they can be deceiving at times.

This chunk might seem entirely irrelevant to the photo above but the people in the photo are megaluv♥ This two days are hell so much happened but i'm so thankful that they're there. Even if it meant late nights and early mornings, i know that i can always fall back on them

Clumsy

2011-01-25T00:44:00.003+08:00

Tried to help wash the dishes but i broke a glass instead. And i burnt thumbkin while baking. Sigh, why so clumsy me?

Anyway, whoever is reading this, please pray for my ahma:( Pray that she'll make it out healthy and home for chinese new year! I know how much chinese new year means to her so everyone please keep her in your prayers tyvm! ♥

Up the social ladder, or heart of gold?

2011-01-22T13:12:00.002+08:00

You know how some people can go around bootlicking others and stuff in hope of climbing the social ladder? Know what, I think they're really gross and I wonder sometimes if they have a mind of their own.

Not typing this cause I am jealous that no one suck up to me but.. If I can realize these people are merely go getters, can't others too? Unless those being sucked up to are enjoying their so called "ohhhgayy I'm so popular". Bullshit, they are merely making use of you, stupid! So dosent make both parties dumb and loserish?Okay I may be skeptical about these but over the years I've been meeting so many people like that, till the extend that I am weary of my friends/people around me. Okay back to the topic.

It's only uni that makes me realize so much about people, and the things going on around me. All the facades, motives, and what not. Coincidentally during this period of time I met so many such like minded go getters around me, which kinda disgusts me. What for make use of others to climb the social ladder? Eventually when you're up there what goes around comes around. And at the end of the day the number of friends that walk out of your life is more than those who actually stay. Is it worth?

I'd rather people in my life stay. Who gives a shit of they're unpopular or whatsoever. As long as they have a heart of gold, I'm totally okay with it:)

on a lighter note, I had a great night with wg! Zonked out once I got home and my uni friends are so so sweet sometimes the things they do make my heart melt and makes me feel guilty for always not joining their outings. Like forever I'm trying to attend but I never really attended one. K ikr now I suck.

Heartbroken

2011-01-15T02:24:00.008+08:00

"This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don’t want to laugh, because you know it’s not going to help, but you don’t want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it’s falling apart too. You don’t think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That’s the confusing part, you don’t know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you’re getting happy again, but you know inside that you’re just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you’re back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can’t help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn’t happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don’t know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you’ve had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you’re to the point where you don’t care who see’s. Because you’ve spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it’s not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, “It will be okay…” But you know it won’t. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You’re still hurt, but you’ve learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don’t hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this"

...over long periods of time, I stopped wondering how that one person could have caused all of these, and how he could even bear to throw me into this bottomless pit he promised me he never would. The scars still stay, they still hurt a little when memories brush past. But you'll learn how to handle such pain better by numbing it, and chosing to forget all about it. Move on, start anew and find someone who truely deserves your love and someone who will really love you.& i found him. We kind of made our vows today, not marriage vows of course but something similar, a promise made to each other. Out of the blue i find myself seated upright, repeating his word for word, and i suppose he unknowingly did the same. I have no idea how we both actually got down to doing that, or even started this whole thing. It was random. That's love, isint it? It makes you do the most random things that seem like child's play, or even acts of stupidity, but makes you feel that they are all of significance and the opinions of others don't matter one bit.

when i saw the above passage in a friend's blog, i knew i just had to blog this. One, to remind myself not to ever let myself end up in such a painful, helpless and pathetic state. Two, to remind the heartbrokens not to lose hope in love, cause falling down isint the end.

First day

2011-01-12T01:07:00.002+08:00

First day of the sem and i am starting to feel the stress piling up.

Introductory lectures: A reminder to read your neverending readings, and to study for your upcoming tests.

On average i have 15 readings to do per week. What have i gotten myself into seriously.

And debates. I worry alot about debates and participatory marks. I am a sucker, so most of the time i just shut up in class and absorb everyone's brain cells, like what my jc classmates call me, a one cell brain cell sucker. I suck everyone's brain cells up but now no, i am made to share my one and only brain cell? Uh yeah. Totally dont have the habit of speaking up luh. My words most of the time carry zero content. i know right. So once i share my one and only brain cell, i will not do well.

Sigh.

New sem

2011-01-10T17:49:00.005+08:00

School starts tomorrow for me, since i made monday my no school day.I am starting to think that my interests lies in areas that others are least interested in. Like how in secondary school my combi was the one and only, and how i wanted to change my combi to another weird one and only in college but got rejected time and time again. Now in university the same problem lies. No one i know is going to major in history and the modules i chose seem to be the unpopular ones?

WHY AM I SO WEIRD? OR UNIQUE I SHOULD SAY:)

And everytime someone pops the question, asking what do i study in uni, i'll very proudly answer,

"History."

"History? What are you going to be in the future? A teacher?" , the standared reply from x98862875184 people.

At that very moment i'll start questioning myself if history is the right choice. I think it is? Ohwells let's go with the flow. And for once let me have the guts to try something i really like, rather than follow the mindsets of those around me.

Digressing, i'm going to take 3 out of my 5 modules alone this term, because I TAKE UNPOPULAR MODULES DAMMIT! Like all my friends spend xxx bidpoints getting their modules when i spent only 1 bidpoint on every single module of mine?

Right.

On a lighter note, not only i need to do well this sem and adapting to a whole stack of readings way taller than the last, i need to earn money to fill my bank up back to its brim, dance well and lose weight.

GO ME!

Hello kitty dr martens!

2011-01-10T17:28:00.001+08:00

Streets of Taiwan, kaohsiung

2011-01-09T11:20:00.006+08:00

I was telling Jy how happy he made me feel yesterday. it has been so long since we caught a movie, a proper dinner date and such till the extent that I got really excited while waiting for the movie to start and he had a pretty hard time reminding me that it's a cinema and that I had to keep my voice down. Meh.

"no, it's a different kind of happy. You know, the dating kind of happy?
" I treat every date as if I am still wooing you, so you'll fall in love with me over and over again"

:)

Dreams

2011-01-08T02:33:00.000+08:00

In the future if I ever have children of my own, i'll tell them it's okay to dream, and I'll guide them by taking small baby steps at a time to try help them fufil their aspirations. Even if all fails at the end of the day, I'll tell them it's okay cause most importantly they had the courage to try, to attempt, and to persue- it is all that matter.

new yrs eve

2011-01-07T15:55:00.000+08:00

Happiest photo taken on new yr's eve. Everyone looks so happy hehe me like!

0836 celebrates christmas

2011-01-06T02:41:00.000+08:00

Been long since i've posted their faces, or blogged about them. One thing for sure is that they are the most awesomest bunch of people i ever met, the nicest of the nicest♥

2011-01-05T17:57:00.002+08:00

Realized that we both cannot do without each other. We find it hard to breathe even if it meant for just a few hours, or a few days apart. So closely interwined and knitted we are, that if one of us snaps the other would too. Is love supposed to feel this way, a two party thing? Cause I had never felt this way before. It seems like a one sided thing in the past, either me or he feels that way, but never once us both. We compensate each other's imperfections with each other's perfections and make this whole bond between us flawless, and untouchable.

Christmas overdue

2011-01-05T02:13:00.007+08:00

Couple for a reason:)

Mirama hotel for jap cuisine, the sashimi is to die for!

First Sunday of 2010

2011-01-03T01:51:00.004+08:00

Because of our budget project boyf ended up having lunch over at my place, with a very fail spagetti bolognese cause we had less than a quarter of minced meat left and less than a quarter of sauce left in the bottle. because of our savings plan we couldn't even be bothered to walk to the supermarket to top up the needed ingredients and it ended up pretty much diluted cause I had to add quite a bit of water to the sauce in order to make it enough for two!

Mom brought back a new weighing machine and some bmi chart that calculates your bmi for you so me is finally underweight now after much effort and I need to lose another 3kg in order to reach my ideal bmi that I had like..4yrs ago? right.

The diet plan thing didn't work out we had steamboat for dinner followed by icecream and dad ordered mcdonalds for supper.

The simplest things are the best things in life

2011-01-02T01:43:00.005+08:00

First sleepover at boyf's place on the first day of 2011. Not exactly sleepover since we slept at 7.30am? Right so we spent our entire new year's day in bed. Woke up to boyfriend's kisses and his cheeky smirk, followed with him heating up lunch that his mom left over for
me before she went to work! :) Shopped for groceries and ended up buying pork knuckles over my place and that sort of settled our dinner with the chicken rice that my maid attempted to cook. I have this super ability to fall asleep whenever I lay on his lap. Within five minutes or less I'll be sleeping like a dead log. LOL

welcome 2011

2011-01-01T05:38:00.003+08:00

I couldnt emphasize how bad 2010 was for me. No point literating it cause it was just so so so bad. All bad apart from the fact that jy finally popped the question. & I just want all the bad things to all go away!

First few moments of 2011 was kickass for a new start! Met new friends, and the old ones too at zouk. Counted down with boyfriend and kissed all the way till 00.01 we are gonna last wohoooo! Home and had myojo prawn mee for my first meal, and surprisingly my lips didnt swell like it should due to my msg allergy!

Its 7.15am. Barely reached home for an hour and now i am trying to keep myself awake. Boyf and i made a bet. He thinks that i would fall asleep and wake up at 3pm. But no, i am waiting for my hair to dry and off to his place to prove him wrong and to plonk on his bed, i am dead tired.

eve

2010-12-24T00:02:00.001+08:00

headed down to church, meeting quite a number of people along the way. Everything felt so familar with my faith reconciled, I think) note the word faith. So much has happened the past two years that I don't see how having faith helps. My prayers never ever get answered and I'm forever at a crossroad, like nothing's been planned out for me like it is supposed to be. Learning more about religion made me doubt more about whatever I am thought at sunday class when I was younger, oh well.. But at least it turned out all good I suppose?

Dinner at teppenyaki was awesome with the boy, and my allergic reaction almost acted up again after a mouthful of unagi's gravy. He made me glup down lots of green tea and all of a sudden I had to be careful with what I eat off my plate, making sure that they are almost msg-free. Fml, imagine sausage lips for Xmas, how sexy! Halfway during our meal the chef mentioned that there's gonna be a fire and asked us to move back. Wait, did he mention fire?! Stunned, we leaned slightly backwards, panicking a little. Less than a second later, this took place right infront of our eyes. We could practically feel the heat!

We took a limousine cab back, Counted down to Xmas at his place. Always dreamed of a Christmas with snow outside the house and cuddling under the full white bedsheets with the loved one, accompanied by wine and candle lights. Of course we didn't but we did cuddle under his humongous present :) had fun trying to change the sheets, inbetween with his fan falling apart it was so scary that I ran and hid behind him. Horror. See his happy face and his hugeass prezzie! So cute lah omg. We were changing bedsheets in the middle of the night and i swear it was crazy. I bought a single bedspread by mistake, and we were trying means and ways to fit it into his queen sized bed. Fail, sigh fail as housewife. So the bdsheet ended up covering half of his bed only-.-

HE STILL LOVED IT THO! YAY! Note to self: Buy queen size bedsheet. Then it was mine!! :D

Heartshaped necklace from the dimonite collection:DDDDDDDDDDD SEE MY SMILELY FACE! And when he wore it on for me i couldnt help but burst into tears. Tears of joy. I love it when my boyfriend puts on a necklace for me, there's just this feeling that i cant describe. At the same time i was a little fearful, fearful that one day things might change and you know, i wouldnt be the luckiest girl on planet earth anymore! Me is emotional and think too much.
That silly boy got me a VIP award thingy he's such a sweetheart. Of which one of the point wrote, "For being a source of patience, love and strength even when i am being irritational" Totally manz, i totally deserve this! HAHAA love you b!

HAPPY GIRL! Not till when i went home that is. I shouldnt have gone home.
MERRY CHRISTMASSYPOO PEOPLE!

Dream

2010-12-23T04:18:00.003+08:00

The idea like of you being in my life and fucking things up evokes fear. Like how i didnt like it when i dreamt of you last night. In a way, it felt nice cause that was the closest i could get to you and i felt like i hadn't lost a best friend. But the thought of you messing with my heart would rather you not step into my life ever again.

2010-12-21T03:10:00.002+08:00

I choose to isolate myself becauseI find it harder to trust anyone around me. Fate always takes my closest ones away.

Life

2010-12-19T20:35:00.004+08:00

Back in singapore and this trip meant more than any other. During my flight i watched a movie about earthquakes and its aftermath. it bothered me quite a bit for the first half of the trip, feeling so much for its victims and that kinda tugged my heart strings. Such feelings grew stronger and thoughts grew deeper when we visited earthquake memorial sites in taiwan. Really couldnt imagine me being the one burried beneath the crumble or even experiencing the entire trauma.

sometimes we are really fortunate but we dont know how fortunate we are till we see it for ourselves.

Once the plane touched down i received an sms from wong which made me really guilty for not being able to be there for my dear friend....

I'll upload some pictures from the trip and those overdued before the trip.

x2date

2010-12-06T02:53:00.003+08:00

The boyz look drugged, & i love my cammy hehehe!
dinner (cost a bomb but so yumz), l4d (play till dizzy wts loser ttm and the zombies keep attacking me and i keep dying D: ), tauhuay (cheap sex. haha)

Stickys'

2010-12-05T02:17:00.000+08:00

Mom brought home like what, 5 bottles of stickys'? So aweeesome don't need to queue can get! Love the christmas themed ones especially, so qt!

Decision

2010-12-04T03:54:00.005+08:00

I used to want to major in dance, but because of all the talk on dance not being a practical carreer, i gave it up and focussed on my studies. And i regretted. I'm not a A/B student, and i should say i'm not even cut out for university. But i made it here anyway. So why should i sacrifice my long term interest in a subject over another now due to the issue of being practical? I don't want to regret again for not giving a shot in something that i really wanted to try out. I've stucked with it for so long, and even if i feel like giving up midway, it'll act as a motivation to push me forward. Like how ballet did. Even if it meant digging shitholes, wiping off dusts from artifacts and maybe even standing infront of a class of fourty for the rest of my life, i shall take this risk and see how things go. shall take things one step at a time.

From love to studies, i have always been making the wrong choices. Nothing turned out for me well. In any case, i pray that this time round i made a right choice, for once.

Being there

2010-12-01T02:56:00.003+08:00

Out of all of my friends- be it close friends, new friends, old friends or even aquaintences, i was just wondering a second ago, how many of them actually really care.

I always let my friends know that i'd be there for them, and i mean it. I'm just a phone call, or a text away always, for anyone and everyone:)

And i was just wondering how many out of the whole lot feels the same too. How many of them would actually be there for me when i need them. Like how i will be there for them if they ever need me.

Do you care?

Broke

2010-11-28T02:27:00.003+08:00

I cant stop harping on the fact that i am so broke. been emo-ing since, just. Like seriously i was never ever this broke during december especially when it is the holidays all and when christmas is nearing? Sigh.

ALL THE STUPID CABFARES TO AND FRO FROM SCHOOL FOR FINALS.

Okay i got to figure something out like NOW.

New toy

2010-11-28T00:45:00.004+08:00

Look! Zomg after suriving two years without a camera made this buy all worthwhile:) My previous compact cameras never ever lasted for more than a year. Like a month after the 1yr warranty my camera will meet with an accident though it is fated. It happened to me thrice okay i am speechless. So after my last baby lumix died (the best compact camera in my whole life), my mom was hesitant about letting me get another..

This time round i miraculously managed to convince her to let me get a camera on a basis that i'll pay for it entirely on my own..It's not a bad thing, i can't be possibly living off my mom, need to learn how to be independent and start saving up and buying my own stuff! So tor long this baby will last me for more than a year cause i paid so freaking much for it and i will just kill myself if it dies on me in a year!!!1

Bad news: I am so frigging broke now i can easily count the amount of money left in my bank. To top things up, i think i am on the brink of losing my job meaning no extra income!! There's still christmas in december and i am already in this state now how awesome plus boyfriend's overseas call bills bomb i feel so guilty. But never mind we can always find another way out we can have a budget christmas and sit under the chimney and hopefully santa claus will give us a nice 4d number and let us win, consolation price also can. HEAR THAT SANTA!

Okay dream.

Change

2010-11-27T04:22:00.004+08:00

Are you happy? No. Then do you want to be happy? Yes. Then change something. I want to, i really what to. But changing your expectations would mean that life isint as meaningful as it was because we have lost our drive to pursue whatever we have dreamed to achieve of right at the start, settling for something lesser than that. I might be happier, but i'll feel a little empty. If i were to decide to change myself, then how would others think of me? They'll either love it, or hate it. Things around me would then change, either for the better or for worse. And there are some things that we can never change. Like how's there's always this tiny weeny bit of us present somewhere deep down, and we can never change that cause that's who we truely are. There are also some things like our past, our identity and our family. We can never change that.

To change the things within our control calls for courage.

And i don't have courage.

Frolick

2010-11-27T01:00:00.001+08:00

Those days when wg hangs out at frolick after school

2010-11-26T02:22:00.002+08:00

Is there a way to be skinny without losing your boobs? I realise most skinny people have small boobs:(

HAHAHA.

Liberation

2010-11-25T17:58:00.003+08:00

calm, breathe

2010-11-20T17:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah, right.

Study tea

2010-11-20T17:36:00.000+08:00

“Yu ting study tea”, just in case you couldnt figure out the chinese characters. Yu ting is my chinese name btw, my grandma made me herbal tea during my finals she was so worried that i’ll fall ill whilst studying. Sweet <3

Bedtime

2010-11-17T02:17:00.002+08:00

I love it whenever I get tucked to bed with a goodnight kiss. Followed by someone hugging me tightly as I sleep on my side. So warm, and so protected.

Sleep well kids, good night:)

Holidays

2010-11-16T01:11:00.003+08:00

Sounds crazy but i cant wait exams to arrive, so i can get it done and over with. Pretty bad cause i slacked more than the start of school so i predict my results of finals < midterms.

In any case my history lecturer so qt this is what he told me during consultation, "Jasmine, you have to trust and follow your instincts when you write your essays" - the key to doing well? Naise. Like that i anyhow bomb can already hahaha.

Okay 8 more chapters and i am done for saturday. Ya my exam is on a saturday fml i know. Goooo me!

Mommy's blessings

2010-11-14T05:37:00.006+08:00

Today is such a good day.
& on a lighter note, mom texted boyfee to tell him that we have her blessings. My first relationship that she gave her blessings too. Okay lah my exboyfriends all one kind screwed up people.

Nineteen candles, three girls and two army boys

2010-11-14T05:18:00.005+08:00

ELIJAH TURNS NINETEEN, AND LUNCH MEETUP BEFORE HE GOES TAIWAN

Red beret; Red is all it means to a commando

2010-11-12T05:15:00.000+08:00

I am so proud of you my watermelon boyfriend! :) Sorry to disappoint for not being able to reach on time but nevertheless i am always the proud, prouder and proudest of you!

2010-11-08T18:45:00.004+08:00

HERE FOR TUMBLR
Just a sideline. I will keep this space ongoing

2010-10-29T00:59:00.002+08:00

I promised zee boy to be asleep at 10.30pm but i just cant get to sleep i keep sneezing fml. And my temp is not going down it sways between 37.7-38.2 degrees i am gonna turn stupid soon. I cant write my essays cause i can't think of the proper vocabulary to use. It puts me in the scenerio where "I know there's a word for it, but what is it?" ugh. -strangles self. I end up hitting the backspace key 9 out of 10 times. So i tried reading my readings. What's even better is that the texts are the size of an ant so by the time i finish a paragraph i feel like puking. And nothing is going in.

Sucks to be sick, at this time where due dates are all nearing and the finals are approaching. FML FML FML FML.

Fireball

2010-10-28T08:31:00.003+08:00

Thank god it's my free day of the week. Yesterday I was feeling okay but towards the night after my driving lesson I started to develop a slight fever. Makes me think my instructor carries bugs with him. In any case by early morning I felt so awful I had a throbbing head, dizzy spells, aching body, cough along with my fever and it's not going down I'm scared that if I faint while asleep no one would notice and I will just die:< I had to force myself to sleep and when I eventually did I dreamt of me doing my political science essay. Exact same questions and same points. Man I am turning insaneeeee! Tell me its normal to have my finger joints aching too. I never felt this unwell in 19yrsnof my life. Fever was never as bad as this and it eventually subsides on it's own! Now why like that:( Woke up after 3hrs And boom my head is now officially cooked well done and it's on the verge of turning into a fireball soon enough. Typing this chunk makes me feel useful although I feel like shit now but it beats forcing myself to bed, least it keeps my mind off the aches, dizzy spells and what not. I am seriously turning mad, mad mad!! The will to study > human body condition. But I shall go rest now else later boyfriend kill me.

Tick tock

2010-10-26T23:55:00.003+08:00

Political science essay half done- gasp for air.
New media research assignment not started- gaps for more air.

Exams are approaching, study status 0%- hyperventilates

calender- faints.

Meeting amanda tomorrow wheeeeee! :)

2010-10-22T23:35:00.001+08:00

You say that i don't communicate much to you, but teach me how can i talk to you without ending up in a quarrel over different perceptions over a single matter, how to talk to you when you think you are ALWAYS CORRECT, and when you are so god damn stubborn?

If its gonna end up in a quarrel, i'd rather just shut up right. In any case no matter what you are never wrong, thats what you think. Even if you are you just refuse to accept that you are wrong.

Yeeemoh

2010-10-21T14:07:00.002+08:00

My blog very emo meh? I'll upload more pictures, it'll make those grey texts more colourful apart from my endless lamenting. But I'm too lazy to upload:( have to develop my films first. I am queen procrestinate.

Shall go nappy now I feel so accomplished sorting my notes. Chiong ah! Can't wait for
nov after that comes dec it's gna be a happy month cause I can burn
my notes and get my life back then I will be a happier person:D

hate the hazeee, it makes me sick. They should invent some air purifier for outdoors, like suck up all the haze or something. Those
mini ones for home use is useless.

2010-10-20T01:56:00.002+08:00

Reviving tumblr cause of new media module. Blog and do research about blogging, how awesome is that. I know i lack very much in creativity but i just want it to get it done and over with. Why not do something I'm familar with? Obviously i couldnt use this space, way to.. personal. You'd never want to declare your social lives to your tutor! I thought about STOMP but i'm a boring person i have nothing interesting around me. Unless i take pictures of school children smooching below my block but nah, too lame.

So back at glitterandust.tumblr

for the time being, see you there:)

2010-10-18T17:53:00.002+08:00

Finally after all the insomnia i managed to fall asleep at 1am for the first time last night. And i had this same old dream again, about all the manipulating, life-risking adventure. All i remember out of the dream last night was the same stuff i remembered from the previous time i had it, freaky much. Just that there were new people added to it, some taken out and as usual, a whole bunch of unknowns. Why are there always unknown people in my dream?

What am i going to do with life now

2010-10-13T23:04:00.005+08:00

Doing exceptionately well and beyond my expectations for history is something worth rejoicing about:)
But the day had to end with a slap across my face for econs. I mean.. i mean.. All i know is that i am in deep shit now this is gonna affect me for life. Yes, call me a loser/crybaby this is the first time i cried so bad over my results.

You put in so much effort to get only this in return? probably my biggest setback in my course of education. The first one was me failing math in primary school. And i cried. What the shit. Come to think of it, my reason for crying over econs is much more justified compared to crying over a math paper that i failed which didnt even affect my results eventually-.- In any case, failing math was made a norm after that. But econs? This is unacceptable. What is wrong with me? My cap, my sep? Yeah kiss goodbye.

I feel sucky. I need boyfriend. I need my babies. Life sucks.

TO TOP IT ON, I WILL NOT BE IN SG FOR NYJC POSTPROM AND ZOUKOUT? Wtf ZOUKOUT YES, ZOUKOUT. Nehneh. Why my partying plans keep getting runied this year. Why isint anything good happening this year. All i pray for is getting a min C for econs for finals/overall. That's all. Thats all i can think about for now.

confession

2010-10-12T01:26:00.002+08:00

2007

2008 2009
2010

Throughout these years, some parts of me wore off, some parts of me are altered, bit by bit, a little by a little without much realization. All in the attempt of trying to adapt to changes and circumstances. Somehow, i think i've lost what constitutues to make me, me. I've lost myself. Times like these i don't even recognise myself anymore. Who am I?

The girl who would rather die than to be alone loves to be alone now. The girl who stays out late at night partying away now would spend her night at home in her room. Who is she? I don't know.

I miss being, me. But i don't know me, not anymore.

Bru-neighhh

2010-10-10T18:42:00.005+08:00

SUN 2AM: GOOODBYE BOYFRIEND:( SEE YOU IN 3 WEEKSSun am: Took this half an hour before he left. Attempt to make me happy. It did, for 5minutes only, and i was back to sad girl again.

Sat pm: Watched movies and slept the whole of our Saturday away. To make sure that Jy gets enough sleep but eventually i got more sleep than him! As usual. Hah. Just wake up faces x2! My 3 week survival kit includes Endless supply of gummybears, honeystars and love notes:)

Friday am: Never sleep for 24hrs face. Breakfast at 5.30am!

Thursday night: Bak kut teh farewell dinner. Yummy yum yum but i felt it wasnt worth the price! Been eating too much bak kut teh in m'sia lah.On and there was crepes for supper heh.

Walking away

2010-10-10T05:14:00.003+08:00

I've to say that i've developed a phobia of seeing the ones i love walk away from me, irregardless if i know that they will return or not. Cause there's always this chance that they might never return. Life is unpredictable like that.

Three weeks and counting down.

Mr Joseph Lim

2010-10-09T20:07:00.000+08:00

Was reading through a secondary school friend's blog when i found out about the departure of my physics' teacher, Mr Joseph Lim.

I don't have much memories of him, despite him being my teacher cause i was least interested in my science subjects. The only vivid memory i had of him is during one of his lessons, i went up to him in the lab, asking him to explain the theory of a transformer to me. And he did so, really patiently, till he was sure that i understood it all. He was a dedicated teacher, and he seldom threw his temper. He always had the best intentions for us. All he wanted us is to do well and get ourselves into our desired choice of tertiary education.

Still remembered he once told me, "Don't need to worry la, your physics confirm A already" when i was panicking last minute during the O levels. And eventually, i did:)

What breaks my heart most is having to imagine his two little children and his wife having to cope with their loss. He was a family man. He loved his family dearly, and always had a family picture as his laptop wallpaper.

R.I.P
Facebook group in memory of Mr Joseph Lim

2010-10-08T02:50:00.001+08:00

Does forty sound good?

:)

Forest

2010-10-06T00:37:00.003+08:00

THIS IS DAMN GROSS MY ROOM IS TURNING INTO A FOREST. AHHHHHH!
I SHALL SPRINGCLEAN MY ROOM TOMORROW K SET.

& I want to quick quick get spring cleaning done (includes clearing out my wardrobe). And go shopping and fix my ezlink card. Started school for 2 months and i have no ezlink card:(

Outdated and overdued.

2010-10-04T01:16:00.011+08:00

Decided to consolidate all my weekend photos into this post: Food, food and more food plus stayovers. Korean bbq at fareast! MY FAVOURITE BBQ place other than daidoman! Looove korean and jap bbq:)

Crepes! Generous servings at a reasonably cheaper price! Like i think $8 per serving (w/0 GST and service charge). At iluma!!! I made that my favourite crepe hangout.

Random night suppers, this was at bedok!

Officially wg's favourite thai restaurant at town. And i made it my favourite too!

The 1hr +++ (cant rmb) dessert buffet at junction 8 after my ballet. I LIKE:)The day i decided to make pizza. Cheese overload. Yumz!

Trad breakfast at nearby coffee shop.

I don't know whats wrong with me these few days/weeks. Whenever i see people i know i don't feel warm and excited enough to run up to them to offer a big bear hug. Believe it or not i absent myself from 3 out of 4 days of school last week just cause i didnt want to come in contact with people. All i want to is stay at home in my room. Think the only time i actually travel is during weekends with the boy.

More photos with the girls up soon, I need to develop my films. Which i will do so tomorrow:)
And the hotel stayover soon:)

BAD SERVICE VS BETTER SERVICE

2010-10-02T04:03:00.003+08:00

The evening started off as a pretty good one and it kinda screwed up in the middle and needless to say i was throwing my tantrums (i mean how could i not seriously i can never stand a bad service. Be it in a restaurant, a shop or whatever bad services puts me off- may have gotten this from my mom but yeah the thing is i dont want to talk about it cause it'll take up one long post). Right. despite all the pissy tone and showing of bitch faces, the boy naturally had his way of making things right, as usual..
In any case we found a place much better than the venue that gave me ridiculously effed up service. Slightly down the street, though $5 extra per pax, we've got service xmillion times better. The steamboat place was airconditioned, and it was an a-la-carte(which means we need not walk up and down), the variety of the ingredients was about the same as the previous one and i couldnt emphasize how good the service was despite the crowd! there's like around 4 waiters catering to the entire level 2 crowd, and they managed to do it well! When boyfriend told them that our clams weren't clean, they took it back and washed it soooo clean as if my clams were sparkling. And they even helped to take back our scoop to wash it clean too! Not only that, the waiter apologised repeatedly. Awww. 10 thumbs up!Boyfee always does know how to fix my mood and stuff. Thank god he exists and pity him that he has such a girlfriend like me,sigh. In any case i was thankful cause i eventually had a happy dinner and all my cravings satisfied.Lovelove my boy is zeee bestest:) The things he do for me, countless:)

Then i got all pmsy. Sometimes i'm just so scared that i'll lose him. Cause i'll never want to..

2010-10-01T04:02:00.004+08:00

The amazing thing about blogs is that they take you down memory lane and forces you to think. You'll notice how much you've grown and reminicent the sad and happy days. It makes you reflect, in fact, quite a bit. Was browsing through my ancient entries and I realised that I somehow stopped trying, in fact I had never did. Cause it meant so much to me, like how one's first love meant to every sixteen year old child. But somehow along the way I gave up, not because I can't be bothered but I somehow realize that moving on was the best choice I could make. I'm tired

And I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. It hit me that I was one that perservered when I was younger, and that, I would not settle for anything less than what I wanted. Not only in relationships but everything else. Sounds like a spoilt kid but life was close to perfect. I had the best,and nothing less. but the struggles that I've been through to attain what i wanted was enough to rip me off my happiness i gained at the end. I had almost everything I wanted at its best, but looking back, despite being envied, I was never happy enough.

Somewhere along the line I started to learn to settle for this new vocab in my list called the "second" best. But ever since then I rarely persevered in fighting what I wanted for so hard anymore. I started to live life accepting what was given to me, and believed that everything is predestined.In a way or another. A good and bad thing, cause I feel so much happier now. The kind of happiness I get is way different from how it used to feel. Sometimes I wish my life was just as perfect still, but maybe after all those years of fighting for what I wanted and what seemed to be perfection, I'm worn out. I learnt that life can never be perfect. When it does, someone will just rip it out of you and leave you with something lesser. Lady luck was never on my side.

But it's okay, cause I prefer life this way.

2010-09-30T00:18:00.000+08:00

Being alone can be kinda therapeutic at times:)

2010-09-24T03:50:00.002+08:00

JASMINE YOU NEED TO STAY AWAKE, CURB ALL TEMPTATIONS AND STUDY IF YOU WANT TO GO ABROAD TO STUDY AND ENJOY LIFE.

STUDY NOW. CAP 3.0 GO.

Mooncake festival no mooncake

2010-09-23T00:51:00.002+08:00

"HAPPY ~~MOONCAKE~~LANTERN FESTIVAL!" Is it mooncake, or lantern? Whatever lah. Oh and yes snowskin greentea mooncake is sooooo addivtive. Anyway, one year ago the boy confessed to me. On this very day. hahaha, we traditional or what lol. So it was sparkles, lantern(burning) and bubbles and candles:)

As happy as i am, my neighbourhood is really quiet. Where are all the kids? Where are all the lanterns? Sigh. I really don't want this tradition to be just wiped off like that. I remember back in primary school i learned that the mooncake/lantern festival was all about looking at the moon(cause got one chiobu and a bunny inside?), drinking chinese tea, carrying lanterns and eating mooncakes. Something more like a family get together than a celebration kind of thing. But i guess as time passes, people forgot all about its significance. Sad to say, even myself. I am so ashamed.

Btw, The moon tonight looks gorgeous. It's not only round, but it's glowing!!

OUTFIELD

2010-09-21T22:40:00.002+08:00

In boyfee's shirt and smelling boyfee's shirt. Outfield now and i am sad. Imagine brunei, oh i dread. (IT RHYMES!)

Oh, and i need to trim my brows tomorrow. Urgent. They look horrid:(

Weekend with food

2010-09-19T21:03:00.003+08:00

Aweesome possum weekend, cause the boy was invited by grandmama to come along with us to her birthday dinner:) So he now not only met my whole family but also all my distant relatives, my cousins, and whatnot. Hehe can get married already!!!!!!

Caged

2010-09-17T00:25:00.001+08:00

ONG JIAN YU, THIS ONE HEN PIAO LIANG:(

H2H

2010-09-16T00:32:00.003+08:00

Maybe because back then because we were younger, we didn't know how to love.
But there's no such thing as a perfect relationship on our first try, or on our millionth try. It's a learning process. No one gets it correct right from the start.

Maybe the way i showed my affections weren't the way you wanted me to reciprocate your feelings. I may not know exactly how you wanted it to be either, i couldnt read your mind. But at the very least, i tried.

Maybe you've felt that you loved me more than I did, but love can't be measured. Even if it could be measured, it wouldnt be hundred percent accurate.

Maybe you're tired of putting in so much time and effort, and felt that i didnt do just as much,
but that dosen't mean necessarily so. For everything i've done for you need not be made obvious.

Maybe on the day you decided to walk away and let it all fall apart, you felt that you had enough.
But have you ever wondered, that sometimes your emotions mirrored mine?
And the reason i wiped it all off with my hankerchief and never gave up trying was simply because i had always loved you.

&heart: Result of htht with C.

Dance

2010-09-12T19:02:00.005+08:00

I had always thought that nothing could feel worse than a break up, or losing someone close to heart, but whatever happened today feels a thousand times worser.

I remembered telling myself the previous round when i didnt do well. I hit rock bottom, it took me quite sometime to climb back up. And i told myself no matter what I WILL NOT allow myself to hit rock bottom again else i would give up my years of dancing. And when i say years i really mean years. With dance i've grown, a whole lot. Dancing runs in my blood and any failure is deemed unacceptable. I know it sounds totally ironic but THIS TIME I THREW MYSELF OFF THE CLIFF. NAISE.

Life is bleak, and hopeless. Like me.

Skipped sch the whole of Monday cause I feel like shit. I feel worser than normal when I am out of the house. I feel terrible, but slightly better under my sheets and away from the world. I need to go to school till Friday. Midterms are coming I need to get a hold of myself, stand up and move on. Easier said than done.

School has its own way of starting my engine again. Trying my very best to put this behind me now, and focus on academics. never knew when did i actually start turning my attention to studies and striving this hard, but well, my actions are showing i am now, kinda surprising in fact.

Driving tonight I hope I don't crash.

2010-09-11T18:59:00.001+08:00

ZOMG MY BALLET EXAM TOMORROW I READ UP ABOUT MY EXAMINER I CHUA SAI NOW:(

nineoneone.

2010-09-11T15:23:00.002+08:00

11 september/

OJY

2010-09-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

I love you with all my heart, i don't know where to start♥

2010-09-07T00:07:00.002+08:00

Its just that, i'm facing a mountain pile of work undone, which i don't even know where should i start from. I have lesser and lesser time with boyf, its like soon it'll come to a point where we will only have a few hrs for each other when he books out. My family isnt helping, isnt helping at all. I'm just trying to stay strong and hold on, i don't know how long will this last.

study study study and get my head off on whatever that is unecessary.

Goodnight.

Hi meet my kitty martens

2010-09-05T02:03:00.003+08:00

One out of the eight pairs available in singapore. Guess i'm really lucky cause by the time i made my way down it was almost eight and thank god this was one of the two pairs left and luckily me it's my size! Happy girl:)

Okay gna lug my stuff over to boyf's house tomorrow to study. We will see how this works out cause i tend to like fall asleep the very second after i settle down on his bed.

2010-09-03T00:03:00.002+08:00

This space dosent work wonders like how it used to anymore. I think talking/ranting is pointless. It makes you feel better but not long after reality snaps back into your face again, "I am not okay." -naise, I'm back to feeling what I felt right from the start. How now?

You suck it up.

I seriously think too much. Everyone's been telling me that. But I can't live life not thinking about life. Maybe I could, but that is if the situations in life are made simpler. But it's not because the world's a monster. It makes life tough. And we need to survive so how can we think simple?

Leaving it for tomorrow

2010-09-01T00:35:00.000+08:00

I wanted to post something crazily happy but tumblr made me emo. Tumblr has this ability to stir your feelings up. I wonder why. Or maybe i am tad too much emotional and sensitive by nature. I get sad when i come across something sad, and viceversa. Like really really sad kind like as if i can feel and am going through what other people going through like that. Sometimes i think i'm crazy. So i shall do it tomorrow and keep everyone in suspense but if you're really smart you may have already guessed it right:)

Sidenote: I am sure what i want to have on my body 4lyfe.

spoilt princess

2010-08-31T00:32:00.008+08:00

I'm back to declaring bankrupcy. Yaknw it's just so hard to survive without working, sigh..'been considering of getting a pair of martens months back but ryna lim yaked constantly about how it isint worth to spend about half of my salary on a pair. But i just couldnt resist these two babies. There's still the maryjanes. I want, i really want else i would cry... Like, how mad i went over the MAC hellokitty make up collection and spent a total of $xxx on the entire collection and not bear to use it till.. now? But i still had to get it. See, i'm die die hardcore kitty fan #1. I hope the necessary funds enter my pocket on wed. ITS LAUNCHING ON WED! :( Nevertheless i am prepared to fork out half of the cost on my own and starve for the entire month.

And i want a polaroid, I keep waiting and hesitating in buying wait and hesitate till whatever i have saved up for the polaroid went to food. I spend like i think three quarter of my allowance on food. This.needs.to.stop.

I want a camera too. My pathetic camera died since last year i think. Pout. And i want one for my taiwan trip zomg i really.need.a.camera.

And i need clothes. I am running out of clothes to wear to school already. Why is everyone dressing up for school? Me don't like. Everyone should wear fbts and tshirts. Then i need not feel so pressured to dress proper.

colours facinates

2010-08-28T02:42:00.002+08:00

I think the whole idea of perspective is cool. Like what you see might not be what others see. And you know what, i'm orange:) This is really amazing. I wonder how the brain works sometimes.

Sometimes faries do lost their way

2010-08-26T00:34:00.003+08:00

At times like these i'd love to have icecream. Icecream is real good therepy.

Call me bimbo/blurcock but seriously. I went to school, got stuck in a jam on the way and started panicking cause i'm gonna be hell late for my first tutorial:( Looked around, everywhere is jam packed and all the cabs were red. Sigh. Reached school, ran to the class and realised that the class.was.empty!!! I tried finding and peeping into classes but i don't see mine. Time check: 9.30am. Called the few who happen to be in my inbox, called boyfee, called mom and i was so god damn lost i'm lost in school for the second time believe it or not i couldnt find the general office but luckily i did in the end. Time check: 9.45am (CLASS ENDS). Wts right i know. Then the receptionist told me, "Tutorial today is cancelled. Didnt you check your email?"

F.M.L: 40mins of kanchiong for nothing. To think i almost cried.

Ran all the way down for lecture and..
I PRINTED THE WRONG LECTURE NOTES
:(
AND I DIDNT BRING MY ASSIGNED READINGS
:(

So yes. I am gonna thank my two dearest beloved friends here.
1. Tenissa siu : For reminding me all my homework/letting me copy homework and what not in secondary school. For reminding me our daily timetable and what is needed.
2. Farzanah : For helping wg remembering our tutorial classes, lecture theatres, time tables, test dates and what not.

YOU SEE, I SO NEED A PERSONAL MANAGER MAN.

Like without someone to depend on at school i get all lost.

But school's getting better. Not that i've found a clique/company, I'm enjoying school cause of the things i'm learning everyday! workload is crazy but history and political science kicksass! Cultural studies is getting a weebit better too:) Man why didnt we have such stuff in jc.

Kbye i am hungry:<

2010-08-25T01:38:00.002+08:00

I need a breather. Everything coincides with everything I hardly have time for myself, much less the rest. Performance rehersal schedule I received a few days back makes my schedule look gloomier than before. I can't wait for September to be over. It's a bad month. September has never been good for me anyway:(

For dear priscilla, 1912.

2010-08-24T01:03:00.005+08:00

I won't write much on this, cause to be frank, i'm not at all good at persuasion and i doubt anyone still reads this space. But if you still do, -blows kisses to you! :) Plus i'm not an advertorial person, in fact i'm pretty much against advertising. How most of the time it aims to shape and influence your decision...BUT, i'm really sorry to say that i'm going to try influence your decision when it comes to online shopping! Visit 1912! Isint' the model above gorgeous? :) Yes that's priscilla i'm really proud of her! Really pretty right hehe. And there's this particular piece that caught my eye, it looks good enough for a dress down day at town or at school! I'm not a fashionista so i'll refrain from any fashion tips just in case i unknowingly contribute to your fashion disasters. But maybe you may want to do me a favour by checking it out! It takes a mere minute for your page to load. Pretty please with a cherry on top! You'll never know, you might just pick out something you like:)
CLICK HERE Support priscilla okay! She's too pretty to resist! :) And no, i'm not paid for this (not that popular yet lah:< ) and this isint her blogshop she's doing her friend a favour too so direct your queries to them! Visit 1912 today!

Always on my mind

2010-08-21T02:46:00.003+08:00

Even though we might not talk or see each other anymore, time to time i do miss those who are not part of my life anymore. Be it if it was an action done intentionally, a decision made or a gradual drift. I still miss them and they still mean something to me. Then i'll wonder if they miss me too. Or if they did miss those good old times we've shared.

Btw, i'm terribly guilty and sorry for my act of disappearance lately. Love ya'll deep deep.

Kitty meow meow

2010-08-20T01:13:00.003+08:00

Ezlink card, coin pouch, watch, iphone, wallet, planner and some random kitty cat in hello kitty suit polaroid which i just had to buy.

What's in your bag?

Words and people

2010-08-15T22:44:00.006+08:00

So much is going through in my head right now. So much so that my thoughts are disorganized and that i'm trying to pull them all together to make some sense out of it. Too tired maybe. I'll do that another day. Say, tomorrow? This weekend is certainly draining, but all is worth. Photos speak a whole lot. Emotions, relationships and everything, they even told me that i've up the weighing scale, again. Sigh. Whatever it is, i love you guys, so so much. Anw, the boy stayed over after that. I love it how he's the last one i see before i call it the end of the day, and the first i see when i wake up in the morning. It makes my day feel complete:)

This should happen every weekend.

Milk comes from cows.

2010-08-12T20:10:00.003+08:00

Gosh. I'm so gonna be broke this month. So many pretty clothes and i must get my hands on that dress I MUST. Sucks when you're not working. I love working, alot! And now that i'm not working and my savings are depleting and since i'm not taking much from the folks i'm on the verge of dying. So much to get, so little funds! Can't imagine once i pass my driving (still long way to go) and when i get the car.. need to save up for petrol fees now! Need to stop cabbing!

Anw met up with the ladies for icecream session and man, we're all grown up now. Love them so much. And i miss besty westy she needs to get a levels done and over with then we can go shopping and htht and hang out with the rest! Meh.

Lost and new

2010-08-11T14:40:00.003+08:00

Day two of school and i got lost, sigh. Nevermind, not like the day is very optimistic anyway. If there's something called university depression, i swear i'm suffering from it. Like totally. I need to feel better about school, i need, i need.

Suppose to post this up on national day but was overwhelmed with pre first day of school stress.

1:01. SEE ME! I'm a "child celebrity!" kidding. Those good old days, wish i could return to the time of innocence. Even my smile is so genuine, it kinda says a whole lot. Unlike now, where most people around us have a motive or two that comes about with their actions.

Day one in school

2010-08-10T23:13:00.004+08:00

Day one: Before i could even get started on anything, i broke down the night before. I feel so stressed, and pressured. Maybe its because back in secondary school and my college days i had a bunch of people to depend on all the time, so much so its as though everything is handed to me on a silver platter. The night before i was so troubled over the fact that i'm going to be a lonely ghost walking among cheerful souls. I mean, I'm totally cool with being alone. But being lonely is a different matter. I don't like being lonely. Not only that, ivle posed a major problem, even till now, i'm having difficulty navigating around and accessing it even. Gone were the days of speedy litespeed which i now regret not using it more often. The pile of readings that i've got to print/read before lectures and tutorials freaked me out even more. One module for one semester and its equivalent to the workload of a levels. So much so i don't know where i should start, how do i go about reading it and what not.

First morning of my university life and i faced another crisis. Clothes, yes, clothes! I had a hard time picking out what to wear. Travelling to school aint that bad, given that i'm pretty much accustomed to the long rides already. Lectures isint that bad given that i have few friends by my side. But still, as much as there's the og, i find it pretty hard to open up to them. I have no idea why either. Don't ask. What's taking a toll on my heart now is the issue on me making friends. I'm just so worried that i can't make any friends:( In any case, i've found a really cool spot at the library and i guess i'll be spending most of my time there, yay!

I'm sorry if i made you read this pile of nonsense. it's my First day of school and i just needed to note my emotions down.

2010-08-08T16:32:00.003+08:00

Just came home from the carnival with the two small little ones.

And my poor boy is so tired from range he zonked out almost immediately on my bed. Hah. Town to celebrate someone's attainment of marksman! Whooohoo extra pay extra pay!

2010-08-08T01:27:00.002+08:00

DAD IS ASKING ME TO PLAN YR END TRIP! WOHOOOO TAIWAN FTW!
hellokittyhellokittyhellokitty -chants.

O-week is overrrr!

2010-08-07T12:01:00.000+08:00

Guess by now tons of unglam photos are roaming about facebook, 99% of them with me and my irritated face plus everyone's happy faces. What's new? I mean, if there's ever a day i love the sun, or love the dirt, or love being sticky and sweaty all over then it's just not me anymore!

Can't believe i had a nightmare about camp. Bet its post camp syndrome. Never cheered so much in my life (i remember skipping cheers for college orientation and sports day). I can't really remember cause in my dream everyone was doing cheers with me cheering till i broke out in tears? Like wts i know! Sigh, the things camps to do me apart from sunburn..

I don't like/love camp, but i sure do love my new friends:) ♥

Looks like it's a bad day

2010-08-06T20:26:00.002+08:00

I need my happy pill:(

2010-08-05T23:56:00.003+08:00

I can't believe i missed boyfriend's calls:( Like 5 missed calls can FML. and because of that emotional breakdown now. I feel like a loserrrr fml. WHY DID I KEEP MY PHONE IN MY BAG! :(

Damn

Orientation

2010-08-02T15:46:00.003+08:00

Right i surrrender. Third day of orientation and i am home. I am just so not a camp person you see. My bed feels sooo ohhhhh-good. Slept for i dont know how many hours straight and i am still so sleepy.

Before school stress.

2010-07-29T14:10:00.004+08:00

Right at this moment i feel like pointing my finger right up whoever's asshole saying that fass students lead a stress free life. My foot. CORS is driving me crazy already the thought of bidding for my modules and not getting them freaks me out like why are all the modules i am interested in so popular? Plus i have 0 experience with the bidding system, together with my slow brain, i could hardly make any sense out of what everyone has been telling me, ie. skills to bid and what not. To top things up, my intended modules have a clash in exam days and tutorial slots wow this is so awesome.

Plus there's orientation i dread. I cant believe we are all seperated how do i lead my life like this i am gonna be lonely_gal91 in uni for 4years. I hope some friendly people will come talk to me and be my friend. Must.make.new.friends.

Good luck jasmine.

On second thought i should have just gone ntu instead.

Down with food poisoning: checked.

2010-07-27T18:19:00.003+08:00

So terrible that i had to drag myself out of bed, two hours bus ride to school and 5hr orientation talks. But the dizzyness subsided, maybe it didnt but the lt was just soooo cold that it took my mind off it.

Forced 5 nuggets down my throat, with a cup of coke that tasted yucky, and threw my fries away. Win. And i had only half a bowl of plain porridge yesterday. double win.

Maybe it isint that bad afterall. Given that my collar bones are more prominent now hehe.

O-week starts this weekend. Dreading it ttm. And have to report at three which means what, 1hr with the boy this weekend only given that i wake up at 12noon? Naise.. sigh.

Shit

2010-07-26T15:09:00.003+08:00

Diarrhea from 11.30pm to 3.10pm every half an hour or so. My anus is burning and my tummy is bubbling and i am down with a fever. This is so damn awesome, not. It was okay, then it came back again, dang.

Lesson learnt: Never eat 3days of buffet straight. It'll just kill.

Before we leave

2010-07-19T18:18:00.004+08:00

♥Ballet & boyfee!
Yet another fantastic weekend, i can't wait for the upcoming one! Will upload photos once time permits.

2010-07-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

Its like trying to fit a circle into a square box. it will never fit. My life is getting more and more depressing and unhappening as each second passes. What went wrong?

Hai. can someone make me happy?

Material and non material

2010-07-12T23:19:00.003+08:00

When you are almost satisfied and contented with whatever you have achieved in the material world, it dosen't necessarily make you that happy. Eventually, its always down to the simplest, and smallest things that makes life a step closer to perfection, something that we either miss out along the way, or almost out of our reach.

Life isint perfect, not because god made it that way, but because of the way we view it, and how we choose to live life.

2010-07-10T11:43:00.000+08:00

Pressure is inevitable

2010-07-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

I think one's appearance isnt' everything, but it is , sadly, almost everything. Thus, making it important, although not that important.

I'm in for anyone who disagrees with this cause i want to believe that appearance isn't everything but i just can't seem to find enough reasons to justify that in our world today, or least, in my world.

I love you's

2010-07-06T17:08:00.004+08:00

Me: I want you to say that you love me a million times.
Jy: Wah. I love you i love you i love you.... (carries on saying)
Me: !!!! (starts counting)
Jy: (continue his i love you's, gasping for breath whenever he can)
Me: (heartmelt + heartache) 100! Okay stop!

He said i love you to me a hundred times!!!! Hehhee i love you too boyf! :)))